The Accurate Account

It is a very quiet and relaxing New Years here at the Summers' residence, other than soundtrack of Jonny learning to play "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on the ukulele. The dogs, Jon, and I indulged in a feast of shrimp, cheese, and kilebasea. If that isn't exciting enough, we watched HBO until about an hour ago. We chatted about our favorite moments of the year and then ranked our favorite and least favorite holidays. This conversation was sparked after seeing so many negative posts about 2011 on FB; so many people wishing 2011 good-bye, saying it was the worst year of their life, and hoping to never see it again. Jon and I had an ah-ha moment last year after we watched "the decade in review." At the end of it, we looked at each other and one of us said to the other, "we didn't just have a bad year, we had a bad decade." Could it possibly get worse? Of course it could, but looking back, I can't say that I have the same feelings that I had la...

My Friend the Juicer  Day 4. Someone please pinch me! I cannot be on the same diet. JMJ What the heck is going on? It just might be that I had my breakthrough moment when I woke this morning. I woke up, slightly sweaty, but feeling like I had the best sleep I've ever had. I wasn't in any sort of agony! All day, I kept waiting for the shoe to drop; for the leg pain to come back, the headaches to return, the desire to gnaw on my own leg...but nothing. Not a single thing. Very Strange.  Something else very strange happened. My husband found a recipe online. That's not all. He went to the store and bought the ingredients for our "Juice Friendly" recipe. Are you ready for the best part? He also made the whole thing! We had a fantastic mix of veggies with an Asian style dressing. Oh my! Who do I love more, my 'now-perfect husband' or the Juice, for the transformation?? All in all, I am ok letting go of all of the badness that has built up inside me for so...

So, what happened to day 2? Good question. I would love to answer this one for you, except, I think I have selective memory and I blocked it out. If you ever decided to go on a juice diet, you might want to do the same; and, here are some more tips for you: don't watch tv (too many food commercials), don't do this diet with your spouse and look for sympathy (you are both equally miserable), don't plan on exercising (you will have no energy), and don't, whatever you do, order pizza (don't give up!). Day 3 started off far worse than it ended. I woke up with incredible leg cramps from the waist down. At one point, I actually thought that I was starving to death, so I Googled "starvation mode" just to make sure I was ok. When I did this, pictures of little kids from Ethiopia came up, and I realized, I was overreacting just a tad. I started the day off with a grapefruit and apple juice. That fought off the hunger for most of the morning. For lunch, I made my ...

The Royal Buffet After watching the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead the hubby and I decided to purchase a juicer and go on a juicing reboot. Today was day 1 of the new juice diet. If you haven't seen the movie, you are probably wondering what the great inspiration was to suddenly run out and buy a juicer. My husband, who over the past year has probably only eaten a handful of veggies, is actually the force behind this movement. To sum up the movie, 2 men who are over 400 lbs embark on a healthier lifestyle, and jumpstart it by juicing. Spoiler alert- the results are miraculous!  So here we are. I made a trip to the Farmers' Market today and bought $35.00 worth of fruit and veggies. I even brought home veggies I have never seen before. When Jon came home from work, we made "dinner." I had all of the veggies outside on our table (there is not enough room in my fridge). Jon coined it "The Royal Buffet." We went to town, putting together all sorts of co...

My friends and family can tell you, that it is without fail, I somehow manage to ruin holidays and vacations with trips to the ER. I would not call myself a "sick" person, rather just clumsy. I am reminded of these, less than joyful occasions, as I sit here, on my first day of summer vacation, with my foot propped up and bandaged.  In no particular order, I guess I am apologizing for all of the co-pays, cold kielbasa, and warm lemonade my family endured.  Christmas, 1999 Pneumonia got the best of me. Hospitalized for tearing abdominal muscles. Yes, the doctors were trying to kill me.  Valentine's Day, 2006 Pneumonia returned. In bed with for a week, hacked for months. Truly romantic <3.  Summer, 1994 I can skateboard, not! Torn ligaments in ankle. On crutches for 6 weeks. Summer, 1990 Handstand on scooter- do not try this at home. Chipped jaw bone and missing chin. 13 stitches, plastic surgery and a year's worth of ...