Psychoanalyze Your Lunch

Brown bag, brown bag, in the fridge..tell me what type of life this is! Everyone says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and that dinner is the most important time for a family. Lunch, on the other hand, is a meal which we rarely neglect; partly because we are usually hungry around mid-day, and partly because our employers actually tell us we have to take one. But, what does your meal scream about you? Are we really what we eat? 


Unfortunately, yes, we are. Try out this sample menu:


Monday: Baby green salad, roasted walnuts, cranberries, grilled chicken, and Gorgonzola cheese. Warm balsamic dressing and bottle of 0 calorie flavored water. Snack: little pomegranate seeds and honey glazed almonds.


Interpretation: I love having lunch with my girlfriends!!! In fact, I love showing off my healthy selections while ravishing my mouth with little petite treats. I may have credit card bills out the wazoo but who cares?? Later, I am going to the gym and give my little fluffy dog, Oliver, a walk in the park. Starbucks, anyone? Chi latte, skinny, extra foam, with free market tea only!




Tuesday: Sushi Express Salmon and tuna rolls, miso soup, and organic rice crackers. Snack: Fuji apple and Voss water, and must eat with chopsticks!


Interpretation: Why the hell aren't there any good sushi places around here? I need a job with more culture...these people are so ignorant. In fact, these people didn't even know what sushi was until they saw The Breakfast Club. Ugh... I just can't connect. Later I am going to read Sylvia Plath in the park and hit up some wi-fi from my neighbor, on my Mac, and blog.


Wednesday: Leftovers! Meatloaf slices, mac & cheese, and a pudding cup. Snack: goldfish and a diet coke.


Interpretation: Why am I the designated lunch maker in the house? Do I wear a hair net?? I barely made it out of the house this morning because I had to get everyone ready. Lunch?? What Lunch?? Will I even have time to eat this crap because on my lunch break I have to run to the post office and the dry cleaners. Work is my escape but I have a million things to do once I get home. Joey has football, Sally has swim, then dance.  I don't even remember when I signed Jacob up for karate. Later, I am going to Target to pick up some vacuum cleaner bags and eat a roll of cookie dough by myself. Seriously. 


Thursday: One South Beach frozen meal,  1/4 cup cashews, 1Polly-O string cheese, and plain yogurt. Snack: 30 roasted chick peas, 3 sugar free candies, and black coffee.


Interpretation: I can do this. Really, how hard can it be? Look, I am a successful person, but, I just need to watch what I eat. I am not even overweight!! But, if I want to look great in those skinny jeans, I'll just do this for a few weeks!! Who am I kidding?? Later, I am going to hit the elliptical for 1/2 hour, meet my girlfriends at the new "steam yoga" joint, Tweet my speed-dating updates, and suck on Fudgesicles while I drool over McDreamy. 


Friday: Tuna sandwich on wheat, slightly soggy, wrapped in tin foil, yogurt, side salad of lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Snack: sugar-free Jello, carrot sticks, and a Chunk bar.


Interpretation: How the hell did I end up eating a tuna sandwich at my desk by myself?? FML this is just pathetic and embarrassing. No wonder why I am skipping my high school reunion. I guess next I will find myself at a department store buying over-sized sweaters with embroidered animals on it. Whoa...holy wake up call!! Later, I am updating my resume. At this point, I am willing to do just about anything to be eating a grilled chicken salad with my girlfriends. 

All in all, our lunch can scream more about us than a new haircut. The best part is, you can change your lunch tomorrow!!